


Rescue me

by CloudLeopard



Series: Rescue Series [1]
Category: K-pop, 방탄소년단 | Bangtan Boys | BTS
Genre: Anorexia, Cutting, Fluff and Angst, Happy Ending, Homophobia, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Implied/Referenced Sexual Assault, M/M, Mutual Masturbation, Self-Harm, Smut, Triggers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-09
Updated: 2018-05-09
Packaged: 2019-05-04 10:35:21
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,842
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14591166
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CloudLeopard/pseuds/CloudLeopard
Summary: Something is terribly wrong with Jeon Jungkook, and Min Yoongi just wants to help.Knowing that Jungkook trusts him so completely. It feels like a big responsibility but it’s one that Yoongi relishes and he resolves to do everything in his power to prove he is worthy.





	Rescue me

**Author's Note:**

> Take the tags seriously, lots of triggering stuff in this one hence the maximum rating. There is eating disorders, self-harm and sexual abuse implied and directly written.
> 
> And for the commenter who took the time to give me feedback on my last Bangtan adventure, I've fixed the quotation marks this time!

Yoongi walked into the bedroom he shared with Jungkook, he’s in his own world right now, composing in his head, desperate to get to his computer to start writing down these lyrics and melody before he forgets them. He’s startled out of his reverie by Jungkook’s harsh words,

“Fucking knock next time.”

Yoongi looks up startled, “what?” and then he gasps, getting his first look at Jungkook topless in what seems like ages,

“Jesus fuck Kookie, what happened?” he asks stunned.

The last time he can remember seeing Jungkook topless must have been about 6 months ago, before the weather really started to turn cold and they all stopped stripping off at every opportunity and started covering up. Since then Jungkook’s body has undergone the most unbelievable transformation. His once toned and muscular body has gone, he looks pale and quite painfully skinny.

Jungkook shoots him a filthy look, turning his back on Yoongi, grabbing a t-shirt quickly, pulling it aggressively over his torso. Yoongi can’t help notice that the once well-fitting shirt hangs pathetically loosely around Jungkook.

“Don’t know what you’re talking about” he bit out at Yoongi.

Yoongi just stares, he could literally see Jungkook’s ribs, even on his back, his hip bones jut out too far from his concave stomach, he looks like he doesn’t have an ounce of fat on him, and very little muscle. Yoongi makes his way over to his bed and sits down heavily, all thoughts of songwriting gone. He has a horrible feeling he knows what’s going on here but god knows he needs to tread carefully, and he’s no expert.

“Kook,” he starts quietly, “when was the last time you ate?”

He thinks back, all the times over the last few months that Jungkook has made excuses not to join them all for meals, he’s just eaten, not hungry, heading out to the gym, anything to avoid it, how the fuck have they all missed this? And how the fuck has Jungkook kept up with their punishing schedule of dancing and still been working out?

Jungkook avoids Yoongi’s eyes, “I eat,” he replied, even quieter than Yoongi.

“Not enough,” Yoongi can’t help himself from replying.

“Mind your own fucking business,” Jungkook told him, head down, embarrassed.

“Kook, I can’t, you need to see someone, I need to talk to Namjoon, and you need a doctor.” Yoongi tried.

“No,” Jungkook replied, panicked, “no Namjoon, no doctor, I’m fine, honestly.”

“You’re not, I’m not a fucking idiot, anyone can see you’re not fine right now, what’s going on?” Yoongi concluded, almost pleadingly.

“Nothing,” Jungkook bit back, “just leave me alone.”

He grabbed the towel he’d been using and slammed out of the room, leaving Yoongi to watch him go, worried. More than worried actually, his own eating disorder battle had been handled really sensitively and it was mostly under control these days, he had the odd flicker of worry, and the odd day where he could imagine himself spiralling again, but they’d found him a really good doctor, and Yoongi knows that Jungkook needs to see her too.

 

Two nights later and for the third Thursday in a row Yoongi is woken in the night by Jungkook. It’s probably 2 or 3 am, Yoongi doesn’t want to alert Jungkook to the fact that he’s awake by checking, but this is becoming a pattern, Jungkook staying out late, really late, coming back home when Yoongi is asleep, and then unknowingly waking him up crying softly in his bed.

The first time Yoongi initially mistook Jungkook’s soft keens and whimpers for something else entirely. It wouldn’t have been the first time he’s been aware of Jungkook pleasuring himself under the cover of darkness and obviously he’s ignored it, as he suspects Jungkook has done for him in the past too, the total lack of privacy is one of the downsides of sharing a room, and no matter how much they tried not to subject each other to it, sometimes it’s an itch that just had to be scratched. The first time he’d attempted to block the sounds out until it had become obvious that Jungkook had been crying not wanking. Yoongi had been at a bit of a loss, Jungkook had seemed perfectly normal during the day, and, although he’d watched him closely the following day, nothing had seemed out of the ordinary and Yoongi hadn’t wanted to pry.

The second time had pretty much been a carbon copy of the first, Jungkook out late, then waking Yoongi with his quiet muffled sobbing. Yoongi had been torn, wanting to go to him, to comfort him, but not wanting to cross the privacy line that they’ve negotiated, that’s made sharing a room together not just bearable but actually pleasurable.  
Tonight, the third Thursday in a row, he just can’t ignore it any longer. Yoongi had almost been waiting for it, Jungkook is obviously going through something major, his painful weight loss and these crying sessions which seem to be gaining in intensity. Jungkook sounds utterly lost and heartbroken and Yoongi’s own heart aches for whatever their maknae is going through, he breathes softly into the room,

“Kook?”

Almost immediately he hears a gulp and a huge sniff, but Jungkook doesn’t reply. Yoongi can hear Jungkook shifting around, clearing his throat, he doesn’t reply, but Yoongi can’t leave him now, he’s crossed the line, so he presses on,

“You ok?”

It’s obviously a stupid question, clearly, Jungkook wouldn’t be as thin as a stick and regularly sobbing in the middle of the night if he was fine. The silence in the room is thick between them and Yoongi can stand it no longer. He throws his covers off and pads across the short space between their beds. He kneels beside Jungkook’s bed and feels for him in the dark, landing a hand on Jungkook’s hip, Yoongi grips it gently,

“Can I help?” he questions Jungkook.

Jungkook finally answers, voice thick with emotion but very very quiet, “no.”

Jungkook doesn’t roll over from his position, he refuses to face Yoongi and despite Yoongi’s repeated attempts, Jungkook won’t speak to him any further. In the end, Yoongi concedes defeat, for now, he’s getting bloody freezing cold and he’s not sure if he’s doing more harm than good by prying. He slides his hand up Jungkook’s thin frame and grips his shoulder carefully,

“You can always talk to me Kook, about anything, you know where my head has been, and I won’t judge you.”

He’s disheartened when again, Jungkook doesn’t reply, he can only hope that he’s heard the message that Yoongi has been trying to convey. It takes Yoongi a very long time to go to back to sleep, listening out for anything from Jungkook but he’s completely withdrawn into his own misery, and Yoongi hears nothing more from him.

The next day Jungkook avoids Yoongi as much as possible, Yoongi tries to catch his eye, to reassure him, but Jungkook has shut down completely.

 

Yoongi huffs slightly in exasperation a few days later as he gathers up laundry from his room, it’s mostly Jungkook’s, and he’s such a damn slob. Normally Yoongi would be shouting at Jungkook, making him pick up his own damn mess, but right now he’s desperate to think of anything to show Jungkook that he cares, in the vain hope that Jungkook will open up to him. Yoongi grabs up shirts and jumpers, trousers, underwear and socks, honestly, Jungkook changes his clothes too damn much. Grabbing yet another pair of trousers Yoongi accidentally drops a pair of underwear out of them, Jungkook has obviously screwed these ones up and hidden them on purpose, the way they fall reveals why. The underwear is stained with a not insignificant amount of blood, and Yoongi is suddenly terrified for their maknae. What the actual fuck is going on here? He can ignore this no longer.

He corners Jungkook once he’s put the first load of washing on, making sure to include the bloodied underwear, as keen to dispose of that evidence for him as Jungkook was to hide it in the first place.

“Kook,” Yoongi started, “we need to talk, I can’t keep this to myself anymore,” he said heavily, indicating Jungkook’s body.

“Drop it,” Jungkook warned, glaring.

“I can’t, I just…fuck,” Yoongi said, sighing heavily before continuing quietly, “you’re too skinny, and you’re bleeding,” he practically whispered, “I’ve been there but I’m no expert,  
you need the help I had.”

Jungkook looked at Yoongi, flushing red, “what exactly are you insinuating?” he questioned.

“The not eating, the weight loss Kook, what do you think?”

“And exactly what do you mean that you’ve been there?” Jungkook questioned stonily.

Yoongi flushes red too, not used to sharing his past, although everyone had been made aware of his eating disorder it had mostly been brushed over where the other guys have been concerned, everyone preferring to leave it to the experts to sort, or more likely not knowing what to say for the best. Yoongi gulps before he finally manages to whisper,

“The anorexia,” to Jungkook, discomfort etched all over his face.

“I’m not fucking anorexic,” Jungkook spat at him before continuing cruelly, “you and Jimin might be fucked in the head where food is concerned but I’m not, leave me the fuck alone.”

Yet again Jungkook slammed out of the room leaving Yoongi to watch in shock. That little bastard, saying shit about him and Jimin, judging them, considering the state he was in he had no fucking moral high ground. Yoongi had quickly gone from being worried to being seriously pissed off. It was one thing to have issues, their lifestyle practically attracted them like a magnet, it was quite another to throw other people’s issues in their face. Yoongi knew this was way out of his control now, Jungkook was never going to listen to him, and he had no choice but to speak with Namjoon and the management team to help Jungkook. He just hoped that Jungkook would understand why he’s had to go over his head.

 

Yoongi goes straight to search out Namjoon, he can’t deal with this alone, he can’t sit on this a moment longer,

“Joon,” Yoongi started, a serious look on his face when he found their leader quietly reading in the lounge, “I need to talk to you in private.”

He was actually terrified, not used to having this sort of responsibility thrust upon him, knowing that it was going to be a heavy weight of responsibility to drop on Namjoon too.

Namjoon looked back, recognising the serious tone in Yoongi’s voice. “Sure,” he nodded, “let’s go to the office?” he indicates the little room off the lounge, not used for much apart from meetings with their managers when they needed privacy. Yoongi nodded shortly.

“What’s up Yoongi, you’re bloody shaking?” Namjoon asked once the office door was shut behind them. He’s obviously concerned, reaching for Yoongi’s knee and placing his hand placatingly on it, squeezing reassuringly. Yoongi took a big breath,

“Ithinkjungkookisanorexic,” he breathed out in a rush.

Namjoon just looked confused, “you think what now?” he questioned.

Yoongi sighed, “that Jungkook is anorexic,” he repeated, slower.

Namjoon looked back, wide-eyed, “where the fuck did that come from?” he asked.

“Have you seen him lately?” Yoongi asked, “like, topless?”

Namjoon paused, thinking, “I…” he started, “I actually can’t remember the last time, why?”

“I walked in on him a few days ago, he’s lost so much weight, you can see his damn ribs, his muscles have gone, and he doesn’t eat with us anymore, like ever, he’s been crying in the night. I’ve tried to talk to him but he’s so fucking angry. He said some stuff about me and Jimin,” he finished in a mumble.

“Shit,” Namjoon started, “what the fuck do we do?”

Yoongi shrugged his shoulders, “I don’t think we have any choice, he needs a doctor, probably multiple doctors, he needs to eat and stop exercising so much.”

“Fuck,” said Namjoon helplessly, “reckon I should talk to him first?”

“I don’t know,” Yoongi sighed, “I’ve tried but he’s too defensive, won’t listen to me at all, I think it’s gone too far to just remind him to eat, I think he needs real help.”

“Fuck,” Namjoon sighs again. They look at each other bleakly, not knowing exactly what to do for the best but knowing they need to do something.

“Ok,” Namjoon decides, “I’ll ring management now, you’re right, this needs to be sorted out by people who know what they’re doing.”

He stands up, reaching for Yoongi and hugging him gently, “thank you for coming and telling me, I hope he wasn’t too awful about you and Jimin?”

Yoongi colours slightly, “it was pretty bad,” he admits, sighing, the reminder of Jungkook’s cruel words, spiking in his stomach.

“The doc is always there for you too,” Namjoon reminds him, “even if you just want a chat.” He rubs Yoongi’s back soothingly and Yoongi can feel the message that Namjoon is trying to convey, it feels good to know that even in the midst of Jungkook’s drama that he’s still being looked out for.

 

It only takes an hour or so before Namjoon tracks Yoongi down to his studio, Yoongi having retreated there to try and do some work, try and distract himself from what’s going on. He’s failing, spending much more time tapping his pen on his desk than doing anything useful, he’s fervently glad when the knock on his door comes and Namjoon interrupts him.

“Hey Yoong, can I come in? I’ve spoken to management,” Namjoon asks politely, poking his head around the door.

Yoongi nods, “of course,” he agrees.

Namjoon closes the door behind him, making his way over to the small but comfortable sofa Yoongi has in the studio and sitting down heavily.

He sighs deeply, “they’re obviously concerned too,” Namjoon starts, “we have practise first thing but they’re going to get stuff lined up for Jungkook to go straight to the doctors from there tomorrow afternoon, physical to start with, weight and blood tests and stuff,” Namjoon pauses briefly, wincing, “they’ll go from there, but he’s likely to be on a restricted programme immediately. His manager is going to take the lead, work out the best way to schedule everything he needs to do, coupled with the extra appointments.”

Yoongi nods, his hands worrying at one of the frays in the knees of his jeans, “he’s going to be cross with me,” he tells Namjoon quietly, “should we warn him first?”

Namjoon shrugged, “you know best how he’s reacted so far, do you think it’d be better to warn him or spring it on him?”

Yoongi groaned, “oh shit no, we can’t spring it on him, he’ll fucking explode, and probably refuse to go anywhere, we have no choice.” Yoongi bows his head, coving his face with  
his hands, overwrought with what he’s bringing down on Jungkook, knowing it’s for the best but feeling awful that Jungkook is probably going to be pushed even further into despair, especially at first.

“I’ll talk to him,” Namjoon offers gently, “he can be pissed at me for a change, I’ll tell him that you’ve done it for his own good, maybe he’ll hear me.”

Yoongi nods again, “let’s hope so,” he agrees.

 

Practise the next morning is excruciating, Jungkook won’t look at anyone, but especially Yoongi. The others are confused, Namjoon has told no one else, just the three of them know. It makes for an especially tense practice. Jungkook is boiling with anger and keeps making mistakes as a result, he’s unbelievably hard on himself and lashes out at anyone who tries to console him. He’s intolerant of anyone else’s mistakes too, rolling his eyes and huffing. Normally Namjoon would pull him up on it but he’s so aware of why Jungkook is angry he lets it slide, which obviously frustrates a couple of the others, who are much less tolerant of Jungkook’s mood. In the end, Namjoon has to call an early end to the practice, before fist fights break out. When Jungkook slams out of the room to go to the restroom Taehyung finally breaks,

“What the fuck has got up his ass today?”

“Yeah,” Jimin chimes in, “he’s being a total asshole.”

“Drop it,” Namjoon growls, glaring at the pair of them lounging comfortably together.

They share a glance and behind his back, Namjoon hears, “fucking favouritism,” mumbled from one of them.

He swings back around, his expression darkened even further, his own temper exacerbated by his lack of sleep,  
“don’t fucking push me,” he warns in a steely voice, “back up, go again,” he decides.

The others huff, early knock-off seems to have been cancelled.

“What about Kook?” Hoseok pipes up.

“He has an appointment,” Namjoon tells him quietly, “we’ll carry on without him.”

 

Jungkook chooses that moment to walk back in, watching the others line up, noting the pissed off glances shot at him from his member's reflections. If they had any idea where he was heading off to they’d be a bit fucking nicer he thought bitterly. His attention swings to Namjoon as he starts talking,

“Time to go Kook,” Namjoon tells him gently, reaching out for Jungkook’s arm.

Jungkook swerves the contact, nodding briefly, glancing to his manager who has arrived to collect him.

Namjoon looks at him sadly, “take care huh? See you back at home in a bit.”

Jungkook doesn’t even respond, he pirouettes neatly back towards the door and heads out.

 

Jungkook left the studio, quietly, obediently trailing after his manager, every movement looking like it was causing him discomfort. Yoongi watched him go, worrying for him, worrying about what he’s going to have to face at the medical centre. 

“Shit,” he heard Namjoon say, “He forgot his bag, his phone and stuff’s in there.”

“I’ll go,” Yoongi volunteered quickly, jumping up, “I might be able to catch them.”

Namjoon smiled fondly, “thanks Yoong,” he told him, patting him on the shoulder as he went past.

 

Yoongi grabbed Jungkook’s bag and jogged after them, hoping to catch them before they left. As he exited the lift he saw Jungkook’s manager's car was still there and he sped up. As he drew near he heard Jungkook’s manager murmuring gently, his voice low, making Yoongi slow down without understanding why.

He peeked around the car, Jungkook’s manager was holding him from behind, one hand curled around Jungkook’s ribs, the other stroking down Jungkook’s arm in a seductive manner, his face pushed into Jungkook’s neck, forcing his head slightly over to one side. Jungkook’s face was screwed up in discomfort and resignation, he obviously wasn’t into this at all and Yoongi’s heart started hammering in his chest, just what the fuck was going on here?

Jungkook’s manager cupped his chin and turned Jungkook around, Yoongi watched as Jungkook’s face automatically rearranged itself to look happy and relaxed, and he did a good job but Yoongi couldn’t help but spot that it was most definitely acting. Deciding he’s seen enough he backs up, re-entering the scene calling for Jungkook and jogging noisily. By the time he rounds the car they were stood apart, perfectly naturally, waiting for Yoongi, although Jungkook looks like he might vomit at any moment, Yoongi isn’t sure if it’s from revulsion for what’s just been happening or terror at potentially being found out.

Yoongi holds Jungkook’s bag out to him, smiling as naturally as he could but Yoongi can see from Jungkook’s face that his own face is betraying the shock he’s feeling, Yoongi just wants to get Jungkook the fuck away from this creepy bastard as quickly as possible and his mind is whirling trying to think of something, anything, that would mean he had to take Jungkook and Jungkook alone back to the studio, away from the manager, somewhere safe, after seeing what he saw there was no way he was letting Jungkook leave now.  
“Hey Kook,” he forces out brightly, his voice betraying his feeling with a slight wobble, “ I’m really sorry but there’s been a change of plan, Namjoon needs you back, he’s said he’ll drop you off later so you can follow your manager in his car.” He smiles as brightly as he can at Jungkook’s manager, despite having a sudden murderous rage towards him and he held out his hand to take Jungkook’s, not willing to take no for an answer. The manager was as slick as anything, he didn’t even falter, agreeing easily. Everything falls in to place for Yoongi, this is what has caused such major changes in Jungkook, and he can only wonder just how far the manager has pushed this fucked up situation.  
The walk back towards the lift, Yoongi refusing to let go of Jungkook’s hand, saying nothing, gripping him tightly, hoping to convey through his touch that Jungkook is now safe and that no matter what he has to do, Yoongi will make sure that everything gets better now.

“I’ll make up some shit with Namjoon,” is all he can say to Jungkook at that moment, letting Jungkook know subtly that Namjoon will have no fucking clue why he’s going to be making a reappearance.

Yoongi doesn’t know what to say to Jungkook, what can he say? At this moment he hates himself for failing to protect Jungkook.

 

Yoongi and Jungkook re-enter the studio, hand in hand, much to Namjoon's obvious confusion, Jungkook can hardly bring himself to look up from the floor but he’s more grateful than he can say for Yoongi’s steadying hand, warm in his.

“Joon,” Yoongi starts, voice cracking and eyes darting around, not knowing what else to say, not able to say anything with the room still full of their bandmates.

It’s obvious from Namjoon’s face that he gets it though, he shuts off the music mid-song and quickly dismisses the rest, ignoring their grumbled complains of “make your fucking mind up.”

When it’s just the 3 of them he shuts the door and locks it.

“What’s happened?” he asks Yoongi and Jungkook, hands still firmly enmeshed together.

Yoongi shrugged, “I’m not sure myself, his manager was…” he gulped, “all over him,” he finished in a whisper.

Jungkook went the colour of beetroot, swallowing hard before breathing out, “he’s a fucking perve.”

Namjoon's face screwed up in confusion, “wait, what? He was supposed to be taking you to the doctor, why haven’t you gone?” he sounds more than a bit cross. Jungkook practically cringes into the floor and Yoongi speaks for him.

“Joon, the bastard was…touching him, I made him come back up,” before turning to Jungkook, “is this why?” he questioned, gesturing to Jungkook’s body.  
Jungkook just nodded.

“You’ve been too stressed to eat?” Yoongi breaths out painfully.

Jungkook shook his head, “he…ahh, he doesn’t like me to eat without him.”

“Kook?” Namjoon questioned incredulously, “he’s been stopping you from eating?”

Jungkook sobs out an ironic laugh, “that was the easy bit,” he tells them, half wanting to keep hiding this fucking awful weight he’s been dragging around, half wanting it out of him.

Yoongi puts everything together first, the bloodied underwear slamming back into his mind last and he gags involuntarily, struggling to get himself back under control,  
“he raped you?” He questioned, voice hardly audible in the large and normally noisy room.

Jungkook doesn’t respond but his silence is all the confirmation they need, the full weight of what has been happening to their beloved maknae hits Namjoon like a fucking freight train and he jumps up,  
“No!” he shouts out, striding over to where the large speakers are and punching one as hard as he can. It’s immediately obvious that the speaker is probably broken beyond all redemption. As Namjoon rants, and continues to bash the shit out of the recording equipment, Yoongi pulls Jungkook into his lap, letting Jungkook curl up as small as he can, and cry.

He’s hardly been able to tolerate anyone touching him in the last few months, everyone’s hands reminding him of what that asshole of a manager has been doing, but Yoongi is different, Yoongi has always been there, Yoongi always knows just what he needs even when Jungkook has been a total dickhead, and Jungkook melts into him, hovering somewhere between utter shame and utter relief.

Jungkook is vaguely aware of Namjoon’s rantings winding down as he searches for something, he watches him as he finds his phone and dials, barking down the phone in the most authoritative voice Jungkook can ever remember hearing from him, still safe in Yoongi’s arms he listens.

“Lee Soo Man,” he demands, before adding, “no it can’t wait, and then confirming, “Kim Namjoon, Bangtan.”

There is a pause, he’s obviously on hold, Jungkook is impressed Namjoon even knows the founder's direct line, never mind that he obviously carries enough clout to be put through. 

“Sir I’m sorry to disturb you but this is very important,” Namjoon starts respectfully but firmly, “we need Jeon Jungkook’s manager arrested and fired immediately.”

Namjoon listens for a minute, before swallowing, “ahh sir, I’d rather not be too specific over the phone, but basically coercive control, “he cleared his throat before concluding, “of a sexual nature sir.”

The call ends fairly quickly after that, neither participant wanting to get into too much detail. There will be a process Namjoon explains to Jungkook, police interviews to add to the doctor visits. Jungkook just nods, tears stemmed, for now, he just feels heavy, and so tired. Namjoon recognises this and suggests they all head home. He should probably speak to the others as well, along with rearranging Jungkook’s doctor appointment for as soon as possible, the counselling obviously a top priority now.

 

They make their way down to the carpark, Jungkook still clutching tightly on to Yoongi’s hand, if it wasn’t for Yoongi’s interference earlier Jungkook would no doubt be heading for another hideous session with that bastard later.

“I’ll need to talk to the others,” Namjoon told Jungkook quietly, “I can tell them as much or as little as you want, no pressure.”

Jungkook nodded, appreciative of Namjoon’s stance, giving him back control, “just tell them,” he said quietly, not wanting there to be any more secrets, “and tell them I’m sorry for being a dickhead earlier.”

Namjoon closes his eyes tightly, pinching the bridge of his nose at their maknae thinking to apologise at this moment, “you weren’t a dickhead Kook,” he told him, “you were…I don’t know, hurting I guess.”

Jungkook smiled slightly ironically, “yeah, I was a dickhead, I hope the others will forgive me though.”

Yoongi squeezed Jungkook’s hand tighter again, “of course they will Kook,” he reassured.

 

When they got back Namjoon gathered the others in the lounge, allowing Yoongi and Jungkook to slip quietly away to their room.

“Kook I wish you could have told me,” Yoongi told him once they were alone.

Jungkook smiled sadly back at him, “I couldn’t tell anyone, how could I? It’s just so…” he shuddered instead of finishing his sentence.

They sit quietly, Jungkook allowing Yoongi to cuddle him, stroking his hair, both wondering what’s being said downstairs.

It’s half an hour before there is a small knock on their door and Namjoon pops his head around,

“Kook?” he questions, “everyone would like to see you?”

Jungkook cringed but nodded, he’d have to do this at some point. They all filed in, Seokjin and Hoseok are both white as sheets, Jimin and Taehyung have obviously been crying. As much as Jungkook doesn’t want to be touched right now, by anyone other than Yoongi, he allows the others to sit close to him, to stroke his hands and his feet, their faces a mix of concern and anger, of hopelessness and a fierce protectiveness of him. They all speak quietly, picking their words carefully, obviously wanting him to know that they’re desperately sorry, and forgive him, and love him, and Jungkook feels at peace for the first time in a very long time.

 

A week or so later they sat quietly in their room, Jungkook’s head bowed, finally starting to open up to Yoongi. Since the revelations he’s been even more like a shadow, creeping around, and the others have been treating him with kid gloves, not daring to do or say anything that might upset him, noting sadly how he hates to be touched now by anyone other than Yoongi.

“Yoongi,” Jungkook starts, “do you think I’m disgusting?

Of all the things from Jungkook’s mouth, Yoongi didn’t expect this.

“What? Of course not, why would I?”

“Y’know,” Jungkook mumbles, “being with a guy.”

“Why would that disgust me?” Yoongi asked carefully, he thought the others knew of his own preferences, not that he’s ever made any big announcements, his lyrics and interview answers coupled with his total disinterest in women must have hinted enough, or so he thought.

“Why would it not? Its fucking gross,” Jungkook spat out.

“Kook,” Yoongi started carefully, “You were raped, you didn’t choose it. But it’s not gross, I like guys, I’ve been with guys, do I disgust you?” he asked him quietly.

Jungkook’s eyebrows shot up his head, “wait, you do? You have? When?”

Yoongi blushed slightly, he hadn’t expected to get into this sort of conversation with Jungkook.

“Ahh, a long time ago, mostly,” he answered evasively.

“So, you’re gay?” Jungkook asked him bluntly.

Yoongi nodded, “yeah,” he answered softly.

“Oh,” Jungkook said, shuffling about nervously before asking,

“When you’re with a guy do you feel stuff in your head, or just in your body?”

Yoongi’s heart went out to him, knowing what he was asking despite it not being put very eloquently, wanting to kill the manager who’s screwed so badly with Jungkook’s psyche.

“Both,” he answered honestly, “obviously I have a physical reaction, that’s normal to being touched, especially at our age,” he smiled wryly, “but I enjoy it, I want it, it makes me happy.”

Jungkook shuddered, “I can’t imagine doing that making me happy,” he spat out angrily.

“I know,” Yoongi breathed, “but when it’s your choice, with someone you like, whoever that is, they’ll make you happy both physically and mentally,” he stops before adding quietly, “you’re going to be ok you know.”

He tries not to blanch when Jungkook looks at him so sceptically.

 

Jungkook sat in his bedroom, alone, Yoongi was away again tonight. Yesterday had been ok though, today had been fucking awful. Jungkook shook his head, angry with himself, he knew he was too dependent on Yoongi to hold his hand at the moment, usually literally. That damn conversation with the therapist earlier replaying itself in his head.

“But why Yoongi?” she’d probed, “do you think there is more to your feelings of friendship towards him? Have you considered that you’re using his friendship and your closeness to him to mask deeper feelings? Have you considered that you may be attracted to both sexes?”

On and on she’d bloody gone, needling at Jungkook, forcing him to think about stuff he’d successfully repressed for fucking ages now until he’d snapped and shouted at her,  
“fine, yes, I think he’s fucking hot, happy now?”

He'd stormed out at this point, not wanting to hear her opinion on his feelings because, well, fuck her quite frankly. He wasn’t ready for this, wasn’t ready to think about this, about the real reason he clings so tightly to Yoongi. That bastard of a manager had well and truly muddied the waters where his same-sex feelings were concerned and he can only admit to needing Yoongi as his friend, by his side, being there for him whenever he needs him, apart from right now.

Jungkook groaned out loud, rubbing his hands all over his face, he’s seen the way Yoongi looks at him sometimes, there have been glances of hunger from his hyung that he knows has been reflected in his own face. There is no way that Yoongi will ever make a move on him though, he’s made it super clear over the years that Jungkook is like a little brother to him, nothing else, although sometimes his glances tell a different story.

Jungkook’s head feels like it’s going to explode, he feels adrift without Yoongi’s steadying hand near him, and at the same time, he knows he’s being selfish to demand so much of Yoongi’s time. It’s all just such a fucking mess, shouldn’t this be starting to feel better after a month of bloody therapy? 

Jungkook is starting to feel himself spiralling out of control, he heads for the bathroom to wash his face, to do something. In the locked bathroom he spots Seokjin’s razor and spare blades. Most of them in the house go for electric razors, its quicker and easier but Seokjin claims that he gets a better result with wet shaving, he’s probably right but Jungkook is too damn lazy and sleepy in the mornings to bother with the faff. He eyes the spare blades, idly wondering what it’d feel like to just run one across his skin. Once the thought has entered his head there is no going back, Jungkook moves almost on autopilot, reaching for one of the blades, positioning it on his arm, just below his elbow and pulling it along. It slides deeper into the muscle than he was expecting, the sharp steel not needing as much pressure as he’d thought for. The effect is immediate and shocking, blood wells from the cut and quickly starts to run down his arm, dripping to the floor. Briefly, Jungkook’s head is full of white noise, the pain and shock blocking everything else out, it would be a welcome relief if there wasn’t so much damn blood. The dripping scares him, trust him to do something dumb like hit a fucking artery or something. He instinctively grabs his arm, holding tight, trying to stem the blood, realising he has no choice but to get help, what a fucking dickhead. He has to let go of his arm to unlock and open the bathroom door, leaving bloody smears on the previously pristine white paint. He heads out to the lounge, trying not to drip blood as he goes, thankful that Namjoon is alone.

“Umm,” he starts stupidly, “I uhh, had an accident.”

Namjoon’s head turns around lazily before he clocks the state of Jungkook’s arm, he shot up,

“Oh shit, fucking hell, ok, umm, don’t panic, stay there.”

He bolted to the door and screamed for Seokjin before grabbing a clean tea towel and wrapping Jungkook’s arm in it, squeezing tight and raising it above his head.

Between Namjoon and Seokjin they quickly get Jungkook to the hospital, leaving Hoseok to deal with the blood, Namjoon makes a mental note to try and find a way to thank him properly for that, the bathroom had looked like a fucking crime scene.

Sat in the hospital waiting room for Jungkook to come back Namjoon and Seokjin eyed each other carefully, no words coming, they both know that it’s very unlikely that this was an accident, they can feel the weight of their maknae spiralling out of control and they feel helpless, all they can do is let his therapist know, and hope like hell that it’ll help.  
While they’re waiting Namjoon’s phone buzzes, Yoongi texting him to update him on how he is going, and he’s checking in on Jungkook too, not having had a response from him for the best part of 24 hours. Namjoon sighs heavily, knowing he’s going to have to warn Yoongi what’s happened before he gets back tomorrow. He tells him briefly, Jungkook has had an accident but he’s going to be fine, probably a couple of stitches and even lighter duties until he’s healed from that.

Yoongi is naturally shocked and worried, he goes quiet on Namjoon after that, not that that’s unusual, he probably got called away to do something.

 

It's late when Yoongi arrives home, promotions cancelled, he’d cited a family emergency and left as soon as he’d been able. The house was silent, he expected everyone to be asleep but Namjoon was sat in the lounge, almost in darkness, as still as a statue, he scared the shit out of Yoongi.

“Fuck,” Yoongi bit out, gasping, “why aren’t you sleeping?”

Namjoon looked up, he looked exhausted too and worried, “why are you back already?” he questioned.

Yoongi shrugged, “I couldn’t not be here, how is he? What happened?” Yoongi asked quietly.

Namjoon sighed, “I’m not sure, he’s being a bit cagey, reckons he slipped or something, but that’s not exactly like him is it? More my thing,” he concluded wryly.

Yoongi nodded, trying not to smirk.

“There was a lot of blood,” Namjoon told Yoongi, “and Hoseok found a razor blade when he was cleaning up.”

“Shit,” Yoongi breathed, “and he’s got stitches?”

Namjoon nodded, “yeah, it’s not too bad considering, at least the cut looked pretty clean,” Namjoon told him, “I think he’s sleeping now but will you just check in with him if he isn’t?”

“Of course I will,” Yoongi told him, patting him reassuringly on the shoulder, “I’ll head up now, try and get some sleep huh?”

Namjoon nodded, smiling gratefully at Yoongi.

Their room is in darkness, and Jungkook’s breathing seems pretty even and peaceful, Yoongi won't wake him but he resolves to speak with him as soon as he can, he’s only been away 2 days and even if Jungkook has had an accident, it’s pretty damn coincidental, and if he’s actually harmed himself to the point of needing stitches? Shit.

Jungkook isn’t quite asleep, and he’s heard Yoongi enter, his face is burning with shame, knowing that Yoongi must have ditched his promotions because of his stupidity, 

Yoongi’s going to be so fucking cross with him. He figures it’d be better to get his telling off over with now, while they’re alone and he can hide his mortification in the dark, he speaks out softly,

“Hey, Yoong.”

“Kook, you’re awake?” Yoongi replies, kind of nonsensically considering Jungkook has just spoken to him.

“Mmm hmm,” Jungkook replies before adding, “I’m sorry,” in an almost imperceptible whisper.

“Oh Kook,” Yoongi breathes, “what happened?”

He turns on his bedside lamp to get a look at Jungkook, noting his red and worried face. He goes to him, sliding into bed with Jungkook and gathering him in his arms hugging him tightly, and gently.

“Why?” he questioned quietly.

Jungkook shrugged his shoulders, obviously trying to be nonchalant, and failing, he manages to choke out,

“I don’t know,” before the tears come, it isn’t long until he’s sobbing hard in Yoongi’s arms, wetting Yoongi’s t-shirt, while Yoongi makes soothing noises and strokes Jungkook’s back comfortingly. He lets him cry himself out, this is obviously a much healthier release for Jungkook before he speaks again, not angrily, but slightly frustrated,

“Why didn’t you ring me?”

“Oh hyung, you were busy, I didn’t want to bother you,” Jungkook explains sadly, suddenly exhausted after his emotional outburst,

“Kook,” Yoongi admonishes gently, “I am never too busy for you, and I thought you knew that.”

For the first time, Jungkook smiles and Yoongi relaxes just a little bit.

He pulls Jungkook in close, stroking his hair and back until Jungkook’s breathing slows and he falls asleep.

 

When Yoongi woke up the next morning it’s to see a sheepish Jungkook snuggled up next to him, worried eyes searching his face.

“Morning Kook,” Yoongi rumbled in his sleep soaked voice, “you ok?”

Jungkook nods slightly, “bit sore,” he admits, indicating his arm.

“What did you actually do?” Yoongi asks carefully, shifting around so he can see Jungkook’s face.

“Oh hyung,” Jungkook whispers, breaking eye contact with Yoongi, looking down, “razor blade, it was sharper than I expected, so fucking dumb.”

“How bad is it? Namjoon said you’ve got stitches?” Yoongi said, ghosting his fingers over the bandage.

“Three, could have been worse,” Jungkook stops, throat thick and tears threatening to fall again.

“Hey,” Yoongi says soothingly, “you’re ok, just don’t do anything like that again ok? Scared the shit out of Namjoon and me.”

“I just couldn’t hold in the feelings,” Jungkook told him, tears starting to slide sideways down his face, “I didn’t know what to do anymore.”

“I know baby,” Yoongi crooned, wriggling against Jungkook and holding him close, “but there’s always another way, a better way than hurting yourself, trust me.”

The way he said it made Jungkook look up, curious, Yoongi made it sound like he understood and suddenly Jungkook needed to know.

“You?” he asked, almost under his breath.

Yoongi nodded, taking a deep breath before pushing the duvet off them, shivering slightly in the cool air of their bedroom, and pulled up the leg of his boxes to reveal six or seven scars on the inside of his right thigh. They’re silver, well healed and obviously fairly old, but they’re unmistakeable and Jungkook sucks in a breath, tracing them carefully with his fingers.

“Shit Yoongi, when?”

“Just before debut, and then about a year after,” Yoongi told him, “had a few rough times.”

Jungkook looked at him wide-eyed, “why didn’t you tell us?”

Yoongi snorted, amused, and wrapping them back in the warm duvet, “why didn’t you?” he questioned back instead of answering.

“Ahh,” Jungkook said, before adding, “how did you stop? Have you stopped?”

“Oh god yeah,” Yoongi told him, “you need a better outlet that’s all, songwriting helped with the excess feelings and, well, if its pain you’re after there are always other options.”

Jungkook looked at him curiously, “hyung?” he questioned.

Yoongi smirked, “you never wondered why I’ve had so many piercings, only to change my mind a few months later?”

“No,” Jungkook huffed, scandalised briefly before seeing the logic, “pain without obvious scars, that’s kind of genius Yoongi,”

Yoongi smile grew, “thanks, I’m glad you approve.

 

Another month of intense therapy passes quickly and in the middle of a fan sign, Jungkook decides he can’t keep on the way he is. They’ve had to dress him carefully, disguising his new scar, disguising his body and it’s all a bit fucking ridiculous. He’s sat between Yoongi and Namjoon, both of them a little closer than they need to be, listening out for anything untoward from the fans. From nowhere Jungkook feels himself lighten, his new manager behind him, his two hyungs either side of him, the other members watching out for him, and thousands of fans, some of whom have travelled from god knows where just to get a glimpse of them. It’s really kind of awesome and Jungkook suddenly feels very very lucky. Briefly having no one in front of him to chat with he sighs out contentedly, drawing Yoongi’s attention from the girls he’s speaking with, he grins back, and to the girl who will be coming to him shortly. He knows Yoongi can see the shift in his demeanour, Yoongi’s eyebrows rise questioningly but Jungkook doesn’t have any answers for him, he just shrugs and grins in return, and then turns to chat to the girl who has been hustled away from Yoongi. She reaches into her bag and pulls out the snack she’s brought for him, his eyes light up, he’s so fucking hungry all the time now, they’ve restricted his gym sessions to strength training only, and restricted his dancing so his weight is coming back quickly. The sight of extra snacks is always welcome though and he turns to his new manager, eyes pleading with her, asking if he can eat it now, he knows the girl will be thrilled to bits, so will he. His manager takes the packet, examines it quickly and determines it to be safe. Jungkook shoots her a massive grin and rips into the packet, stuffing his face as quickly as he can, grinning his thanks to the girl before offering her some, she declines politely but he insists, knowing that sharing with her will make her day much more than it makes his, the thought makes him so happy a giggle escapes from him and Yoongi again looks at him in wonderment.

They spend the rest of the fan sign like this, Jungkook giggling, happy, hungry, eating as many snacks as he’s allowed to get away with. When they’re finally done and head backstage Yoongi corners him,

“You ok?” he grins at Jungkook.

Jungkook nods, “god that was fun,” he told Yoongi, eyes shining, “we should do that every day.”

He throws himself into Yoongi’s arms, hugging him tightly, “thanks for putting up with me hyung,” he tells him, wanting to convey just how grateful he is right now.

Yoongi squeezes him back, “of course,” he tells him quietly, sincerely.

 

The room is fairly small, even smaller considering it currently has 7 excitable men bouncing around it, inevitably someone crashes into them, Taehyung and Jimin are chasing each other and Jungkook stumbles into Yoongi’s body, his leg sliding between Yoongi’s thighs before Yoongi can stop them falling.

“Fucks sake Min,” Yoongi bites out good-naturedly, “watch where you’re going.”

“Sorry,” Jimin calls back over his shoulder, still chasing after Taehyung, giggling.

Jungkook is frozen for a second, from his leg’s position between Yoongi’s he can feel something stirring, Yoongi’s cock is most definitely responding to having Jungkook pressed up against him and for a second they both know it, eyes locking before Yoongi steps back, letting go of Jungkook and making up some flimsy excuse to get away.

Jungkook lets out the massive breath he didn’t realise he’d been holding, fucking hell, that was, well, what was that?

He blinks and Yoongi has disappeared from the room, Jungkook briefly wonders if he’s gone to the bathroom and if he has, what is he doing in there? The thought of Yoongi, hand wrapped around his cock, because of him makes Jungkook almost whimper out loud, blood pooling in his own cock. Thankfully Taehyung, pulls him into his ridiculous game with Jimin, playing with them distracts him nicely and all thoughts of Yoongi are pushed to the back of his mind, for now at least. They’re going to have to deal with this sooner or later though.

 

Late at night again, and Jungkook starts talking.

“Yoongi, can I ask you something?” he started, quietly but urgently, he’s been wondering how to approach this with Yoongi, being close to him since the incident at the fan sign has been sweet torture and Jungkook can’t stay quiet any longer.

Yoongi’s attention is immediately captured and he rolls over in the dark to talk to Jungkook.

“Of course,” he tells him.

“How did you know you were into guys?”

“Oh,” Yoongi replies, surprised, not expecting this line of questioning, “umm, well I don’t know really, I guess when people I was at school with started looking at girls and talking about them I didn’t, and then it kind of dawned on me that I was feeling about guys and looking at guys the way they were with girls.”

“Were you ok with that?” Jungkook questioned.

Yoongi chucked darkly, remembering his internal struggles, “no, not at first, I felt very alone,” he answered honestly, tailing off, feeling embarrassed, not used to talking about his feelings, especially these ones.

“I feel alone,” Jungkook breathed quietly, “I am alone.”

“Kook, you’re not,” Yoongi tried to reassure him, “everyone wants to help, we just need to know how.”

“Yoongi why don’t you wank anymore?” Jungkook asked, completely shifting the conversation and making Yoongi choke in surprise.

“Fucking hell Kook, where did that come from?” he gasped.

“Just wondered,” Jungkook asked, “don’t you want to?”

“Jesus Christ,” Yoongi mumbled under his breath, soldering on despite the mortifying subject matter, “Kook, I do, just not in here, I felt a bit weird knowing what’s happened to you, I don’t want to put you in any sort of awkward position. Anyway, how do you know?” It suddenly dawns on him that if Jungkook knows he’s stopped he must have known he was doing it in the first place, his face burns hot and he’s fervently glad it’s too dark to see each other clearly.

“You woke me up a few times,” Jungkook answered casually, “I woke you too didn’t I?” he questioned.

“Kook,” Yoongi replied, strangled, “I’m sorry I woke you, what makes you think you woke me?” Yoongi was genuinely curious, he’d made a point of being as still and silent as possible, while blocking out Jungkook’s gasps and sighs out as best he could.

“Your breathing changed, I knew you were awake, I couldn’t stop though, sort of made me feel stuff knowing you were listening, does that make me gross?”

Yoongi sucked in a sharp breath, what was Jungkook actually saying here?

“Not gross Kook, you were curious I guess,” he told him, hoping he isn’t fucking this up.

“I miss listening to you,” Jungkook admitted quietly, “I liked it.”

Yoongi is quiet for half a second too long, not knowing exactly how to respond to Jungkook, the truth is that this whole damn conversation is making his dick stir, having  
Jungkook admit that stuff is fucking hotter than it should be.

“Hyung, would you…” Jungkook starts, before tailing off.

“Would I what Kook?” Yoongi breathed back, silently pressing on his hardening dick.

“Touch yourself.” Jungkook choked back.

Yoongi groaned softly, “fucking hell Kook, are you serious?”

Jungkook’s reply when it comes is so soft it’s barely audible but the pleading tone is clear, “please hyung.”

“Jesus fucking Christ,” Yoongi moaned back, his voice giving away his increasing arousal.

“Can I… come over?” Jungkook asked quietly.

Despite his own feelings Yoongi is sceptical, and worried about Jungkook, his hand stills, “Kook, what’s going on here?” he asked him.

Jungkook moaned, Yoongi heard both frustration and arousal in his tone and despite his misgivings, his hand strayed back to the front of his pyjama bottoms.

“Hyung, please…” Jungkook begged, “I just need…I don’t know, something.”

Yoongi sighed, the last thing he wants to do is fuck Jungkook up any more, but having him begging like he was…

“Come here Kook,” he murmurs, moving his hand resolutely off his dick and throwing open the covers to let Jungkook slide in next to him.

“You’re so warm hyung,” Jungkook sighed happily, snuggling up to Yoongi again. Before he registers what Jungkook is about to do he presses his warm lips gently up against Yoongi’s making Yoongi suck in a deep breath.

“Fuck, Kook, what…?” he blurts out stupidly.

“Don’t you want me too?” Jungkook asks coquettishly.

Yoongi is stunned into silence, this night has taken a sharp swerve from where he expected it to go. He knows he shouldn’t, Jungkook is hurting, and seriously fucked up right now, does he even know what he’s doing? On the other hand, Yoongi can’t help but have flashbacks to all the times he’s let his eyes linger a little too long over Jungkook’s body, watching as he changed from a boy into a man, watching his muscles develop along with his confidence in himself. The months suffering at the hands of his asshole manager clearly haven’t erased everything that Jungkook was before but Yoongi is wary, very wary, that maybe Jungkook doesn’t know what he’s doing right now.

“Kook, do you even like guys?”

Jungkook huffs, annoyed at Yoongi turning serious when things were getting interesting,

“Just the one so far, obviously that cunt saw my interest and decided it applied to him too, asshole.”

“Kook, language,” Yoongi responded automatically before correcting himself, “actually I think that’s quite polite for that utter scumbag but whatever. Just the one what?” he checks.

“Just the one guy that I like,” Jungkook answered shyly.

“Yeah?” Yoongi breathed.

In answer, Jungkook leaned back towards Yoongi’s mouth, pressing his dampened lips against Yoongi’s again, kissing him gently.

This time Yoongi kisses back, cupping the back of Jungkook’s head lightly, not holding him, just caressing him, and when Jungkook’s tongue starts to probe at his lips, Yoongi opens his mouth and lets Jungkook in.

He kisses Jungkook for what seems like a very long time, sliding their tongues together sensuously, but it’s probably only been minutes when Jungkook’s hand starts to slide under his t-shirt and stroke at his belly Yoongi stops kissing him again.

“Oh god, Kook, are you sure this is a good idea? Now? You need more time with the doctor to get your head straight.”

“I don’t think I’m ever going to be entirely straight,” Jungkook quips back before turning serious, “I want this, I need this, I need the bad stuff to be erased, I need good stuff to remember instead,” before he concludes, “I need you.”

“Kook,” Yoongi tries, one more time to stop Jungkook, to stop this madness.

“Yoongi for god’s sake, I only want a fucking wank,” Jungkook snapped, “if you don’t like me that way just fucking say so, stop fucking pussyfooting around with this ‘poor fucked up Jungkook’ shit, I’m sick of it.”

Yoongi is stunned for a second, then despite himself, he giggles, “sorry Kook, we have been pussyfooting around you, everyone just cares though, we love you, we should have kept you safe,” he finishes, his laugh replaced by an urgent and regretful tone.

“It wasn’t your fault,” Jungkook tells him, “I should have exposed that arsehole the first time he touched me, I just…you know, didn’t know how.”

His sad tone makes Yoongi gather Jungkook in his arms and hold him tightly, pressing his body against Jungkook’s and soothing him. He feels Jungkook smile against his chest and he releases him slightly.

“Thank you hyung,” Jungkook said quietly, shifting his hips slightly, suddenly tensing as the movement makes his crotch slide across Yoongi’s, the thin fabric of their pyjamas doing nothing to conceal their respective bodies. Yoongi’s cock which had softened during their chat suddenly sparks back into life and Yoongi tries to subtly shift himself before it becomes too obvious. Jungkook is immediately aware of what he’s doing and he hooks one of his long legs around Yoongi’s waist, using his calf muscle to pull Yoongi in closer.  
“Don’t go,” he murmured quietly, “I want to feel you.”

Yoongi just gasps as Jungkook shifts again, this time quite deliberately moving his hips against Yoongi’s, arousing them both. Yoongi leans into Jungkook, kissing him softly on the lips, it ignites Jungkook who grabs at Yoongi’s head, pulling him in tight, sliding their tongues together repeatedly, the sudden spark of passion making them both a little rough. Jungkook lets go of Yoongi’s head and shoves his hand down between them, sliding down the front of Yoongi’s pyjamas and grasping his cock tightly as he begins to slide up and down Yoongi’s shaft. His hand is too dry though, and coupled with the burning heat of Yoongi’s cock is producing too much friction, he needs some slide, he tugs his hand out and pants at Yoongi,

“Have you got anything?”

Yoongi just nods, stretching up to reach into his bedside table, for the lube he keeps in there for this, and other, purposes. While he’s opening the bottle and slicking up his hand, Jungkook is wriggling out of his pyjamas and removing Yoongi’s before he reaches for the lube too. Jungkook grasps Yoongi’s cock again, making Yoongi moan out before he reaches for Jungkook, stroking each other off with indecent haste. Jungkook’s hand falters first, as he comes, groaning out Yoongi’s name as he thrusts into Yoongi’s hand, riding out the last of his orgasm before he returns his attention to finishing off Yoongi. It doesn’t take long, Yoongi comes quieter but Jungkook can feel the vibrations of his moan from deep in his chest, and it’s all kinds of erotic.

Breathless and panting they look at each other in the moonlight, wrecked t-shirts sticking together with their collective come, Yoongi is the first to speak,

“Well that was, unexpected,” he grins at Jungkook.

Jungkook grins back and nods, “it was good though.”

“So good,” Yoongi breathes, “but I think we need clean shirts.”

Jungkook nodded, sliding out of bed and carefully taking his off, showing Yoongi for the first time since he accidentally walked in on him, what his body looks like. He’s still too thin and Yoongi tries not to stare too much as he wriggles out of his own shirt, not wanting to make Jungkook uncomfortable. He catches him looking anyway,

“yeah I know,” he sighs, “I’m going to have to do all that work again to get my muscles back, still, it’s a great excuse to eat loads right?” he finishes, grinning happily at Yoongi at the thought, making Yoongi breathe an internal sigh of relief, there are definite signs that their happy go lucky maknae is returning. 

Once Jungkook has changed he throws Yoongi a clean shirt too, his t-shirt Yoongi notes, smiling to himself pulling it on, smelling Jungkook on it despite the shirt being freshly laundered. Jungkook watches him pull it on before indicating to the bed and asking shyly, “can I come back?” 

Yoongi doesn’t sleep with anyone if he can help it, not like some of the others, but Jungkook clearly needs this, Yoongi nods, shifting over to make room for Jungkook and wrapping his arms around him, holding Jungkook as he falls asleep.

 

Yoongi’s thoughts stray as he begins to drift off to sleep, did that moment between them actually mean anything? Should he have let Jungkook touch him like that? Should he have touched Jungkook back? Should he have stopped him? Jungkook was so damn insistent though, and his hand on Yoongi’s cock had felt so fucking good. And Jungkook has been sleeping better recently, he seems happier, he’s starting to really relax again, the counselling is doing its job, things are starting to go back to normal. Yoongi knows, if he’s honest with himself, that he’s far more gone for Jungkook than he’s ever dared think about, the feelings briefly put on hold while they dealt with this shitty situation have come back with the force of a sledgehammer. Jungkook may be frustrating, and naughty and sometimes a downright disrespectful little shit but he’s captured Yoongi completely. Yoongi knows that no matter what Jungkook needs, he’ll do it for him, anything to make Jungkook happy, anything to keep him happy. If Jungkook had wanted his ex-manager murdered Yoongi would probably have found a way to make it happen, instead, they get to watch as that bastard’s life is systematically destroyed by his dismissal and arrest and likely prison sentence all being played out in public. He cracks his eyes open briefly to look at the sleeping man in his arms and his heart swells, knowing that Jungkook trusts him so completely. It feels like a big responsibility but it’s one that Yoongi relishes and he resolves to do everything in his power to prove he is worthy.


End file.
